Just in case there is a possibility I could offend anyone please read the following disclaimer.
This piece of Flash Fiction has been created after picking out a random word. Anyone addicted to political correctness, narrow minded or without the ability to laugh at pure fiction should stop here. I will not apologise for my weird sense of humour.
Ralph woke feeling like he had been drinking tar for much of the previous evening rather than Advocat and Jack Daniels, at the suggestion of his best friend. It was initially rather difficult opening his eyes, apart from the fact the eyelids seemed almost glued together, every time light entered, his world began to spin wildly. At least rubbing his groin made him smile, it was just pity that after his first night of wild sex in maybe a year he didn’t remember much. Fortunately he could still feel the warmth of her body against his back. Turning slowly the upturn of his mouth crashed into a bottomless pit of despair. It wasn’t exactly what he was expecting, but at least she was the right sex.
Eventually he analysed what he could from the previous evening of excessive drinking. After a while he seemed to recall asking for a favour from his best friend. Some favour it had turned out to be, but then it was partially his fault. If he hadn’t been completely rat-arsed he would have had more choice, an ability to make a decision on his own.
Ralph’s sexual partner had woken and was eating fruit from the bedside table, it was difficult to tell if she was smiling or not, but at least she was still there. Possibly partially because of her obvious youth, Ralph had yet to decide whether that was a good thing but at least he hadn’t been so useless between the sheets she had left the moment he had fallen asleep. The trouble with a cavernous void in your memory is that it demands to be filled, sometimes rather forcefully, as though sanity demanded it. With no recall just how good intercourse had been he slid his hand between her legs and toyed gently. Well, that certainly made her excited, her body was almost quaking with anticipation. Ralph slid onto her, wondering just how much he had kissed her the night before. Still, looks were not everything, a couple of times in the past women of the night had seemed little more than dogs. So, this time he didn’t know her name, that was hardly surprising anyway, and her appearance was, well different. In the past he wondered about visual appearances, whether an African, Indian or Chinese woman felt or performed differently to English females, it wasn’t that different, maybe she was rather young but he wasn’t going to start shouting about his conquest from the rooftops.
Partially because of the amount of alcohol still coursing through his veins, more from the obvious confusion, it took a little while to raise an erection but penetration was rewarding, hot and tight. As he slid over her chest and forced his penis deep inside her body, strong arms pulled him tight and she squealed loudly. Geoff almost laughed, maybe size did matter. Not the comparative proportion of their bodies either. As she was so much smaller, as his pelvis bounced gently against hers he was unable to kiss her lips, not that he was worried about it.
After fifteen minutes Geoff decided that making love to an angel had a disadvantage, he was usually so wired sex lasted under five. As their bodies began to bounce madly Geoff wondered just how much her screaming could be heard next door. Not that he had any intention of backing off, the sensation was far too rewarding. Gradually he rose to a climax, unable to control the way his body moved, his back feeling a little bruised as his partner had been expressing her excitement by pounding him a little too vigorously than most other women he had made love to, ever. Eventually he rolled off, grinning as though he had just laid Madonna.
Reaching out he picked up his mobile. “Jerry you are a fucking arsehole.” There was raucous laughter at the other end. “I seem to recall that I said if I gave you a monkey could you find me a decent prostitute.” Briefly he paused for thought, glancing at the female that seemed to be almost chuckling beside him. The dark hair that thickly covered her entire body seemed to be glistening, probably from his own sweat. It was a little disconcerting that her mouth was so wide and her lips hardly soft and smooth. But that was quite normal for a Chimpanzee. “How the hell am I going to get her back to the zoo?”
No animals were harmed or experimented on while researching this story.